Sloppy Mondays

Today was by far one of the hardest days of my work life. It was heavy, intense and maybe a little stressful. I’m not sure I’m even suppose to share it with you all because of hipaa, but I will. Part of my job these next few months is to recruit English speaking patients with cancer for a clinical trial. This trial is a little different because all of our patients participating will get assistance. We are testing to see whether or not a patient that receives navigation with or without legal training is the most beneficial.

What’s the big deal you ask? Well when I go in to speak to these patients they have just learned of their cancer diagnosis. They are in the midst of falling apart, and wondering if they will live to see next year. The surgeon has just told them whether the cancer has invasively and savagely spread throughout their being or it’s just a small part that will either lead to a single or double mastectomy. Either way of course the news is devastating. Here I am after the grim reaper has delivered her news providing resources for this woman who you just can’t help but sympathize with.

Yesterdays patient toyed with my emotions the most. This recently homeless woman from Liberia with children back home and in Texas. She has no one in her present corner, and her body riddled with other ailments. Here I come strolling in offering my hand and she asks me to be her best friend. I offer my hand, but she demands my heart. Something I try to limit sharing, but this woman needed me to be everything she did not have. I spent a good hour in there mothering her, comforting her, providing her incentives if she promised to just eat 3 meals a day. All she wanted from me was my love, and I had no choice but to lay it down for her. She explained how she struggled with the little amount of money she received on a monthly basis. She reiterated to me how God was so good to her, and at a weak point I’m thinking really boo? But that wasn’t mine to take away. I accepted and believed it because I knew the feeling of comfort my faith brings me daily.

The kicker was when I asked her how she was getting home. She used her last $1.50 to get here and was to embarrassed to ask. In the end she went home with  a little more than she needed, and that was good enough for her.

This woman CL drew out of me emotions I never knew I had. I rant about poor bedside manners and not having even the slightest bit of patience, but boy was I wrong. I also learned to love instantly because sometimes all you need is for someone to carry you through it. Now I probably will not have a chance to interact with her again, but I am sending her so much love, spirit, light and healing vibes. Can you spare a piece of yours and join me?

En tout cas,


My vows to forever

My schedule has cleared up a little bit, and I’ve got some time on my hand. I take a vow to listen. There has been so much going on around me, and I haven’t had a chance to just listen, and be obedient to the positive thoughts that infiltrate my spirit…my entire being.

I haven’t had a moment to reflect on my blessings, the beauty of love that surrounds me, and letting light completely penetrate my core.

I vow to feed my spirit fruits of joy, exciting challenges, wholesome love and truths.

I vow to make sacrifices for myself in order to reach my life resolution to succeed- forsaking all negative energy, all toxic relationships, and all things false.

I vow to be patient as the desire of my heart is being fulfilled. Praying fervently that the decision I made was indeed the path I should have gone– for now it’s all I know.

I vow to be slow to anger and be more inviting. I am sure I’ll be better for it.

I’m excited to grow, and these applied vows shall be evidence of my growth. I’ve hanged my disappointments, my attempts to give up, and decided to live.

Amen.Ashe (so be it),


This is for my sisters

Dear Daughters of Eve,

EUREKA! I have been granted the opportunity to help save your life! I have been tasked to be your advocate. I am here for you to answer any questions, help alleviate any medical barriers to care that you may face, and just to be a saving grace. I do this because you deserve access, you deserve proper care, and you deserve the love that I have pouring out of my entire being.

This is all to say that I am currently working as a Research Assistant/Patient Advocate at a hospital, and I am so excited about the opportunities to come! My sole focus is early detection of Breast Cancer, and navigating women and their families through the system. I am their unofficial social worker, mother, sister, aunt, counselor and all around super heroin. This is temporary though as I wait to hear on one of the most important decisions I made in my life!!

Stay tuned

En tout cas,


Chapter 2013…What I choose

I choose…..

          Starting over
New mercies